SCONES

Easy and quick comfort food. These are very soft and delicate with a crispy top even when made with gluten-free flour mix.

I have a theory that shop-bought gluten-free scones are actually just surplus astronaut food that NASA are selling out to minimise losses.




3 parts self-raising flour (gluten-free is fine)
2 parts lemonade of sparkling water
1 part cream
a pinch of salt
more flour until workable


Mix until smooth, and gosh almighty it'll be very smooth.

Bake in 200°C until golden.

ORANGE AND DARK CHOCOLATE NANAIMO

Just when you thought it couldn't get any better. A classier take on Nanaimo bars.

Now that is sexy. Eat your heart out, Nigella.

Cut after a few minutes, when still a bit soft.

This is how nicely these cut at fridge temperature.

First layer:
As before

Second layer:
As before, with added orange oil.

Third layer:
75g dark chocolate
50 unsalted butter
10ml sunflower oil

Method for third layer: Melt butter and oil in a saucepan, add chocolate and mix until melted. Allow to cool down a little and spread on the cake. Set in the fridge. Cut and eat.


The original Nanaimo bars were wolfed down quite fast but after two batches I was feeling a bit adventurous. Certain recipes online use some additional ingredients in the custard cream layer to give it a new flavour and that got me thinking about the Polish orange oil in the depths of my cupboard. I also wanted to create a shinier, softer chocolate layer that wouldn't crack at fridge temperature.

Maybe the milk chocolate was to blame? Dark chocolate works better with orange anyway so I sent the hubby away to Tesco's to get some of that.

The first layer works as it is. I did use a bit of pistachios, though, when I ran out of pecans but only a little bit.

I also prepared the second layer as before, apart from adding some orange oil. You can also use an alcohol-based orange flavouring.

The smell of the custard cream was divine. I could hardly spread it on the biscuit base for feeling so dizzy at the aroma.

At this point I let the cake set in the fridge until the second layer was very hard to the touch.

Meanwhile I prepared the top layer using dark chocolate, also adding a little bit of oil to keep the chocolate soft at fridge temperature. The result was a beautifully glossy surface that was easy to cut into.

Should you, however, prefer to eat your bars at room temperature, remember that condensation will happen – at least if you live on this humid island. Some unfortunate bars ended up looking like they had blisters.

NANAIMO BARS

Criminally good stuff.






The defendant was doing her washing at the laundrette in question when a photograph in the complimentary magazine she was reading caught her attention. It was of a cake-stand filled with the most decadent treats, and a man standing next to it with the expression of a proud father on his face. One of the treats on the stand was a chocolaty bar-shaped object, temptingly glistening in the perfect lighting the photographer had arranged.

It emerged that the man was a former shoe designer starting a cheeky brasserie in London. The defendant was first tempted to perform the vile act she is accused of, when she noticed that the shoe man had kindly provided the magazine with a recipe for the bar.

The defendant thought long and hard. She had no pen or paper. Her mobile phone could perhaps be used to store the recipe until she got home, but writing it in the manner of text messages did not appeal to her.

She then looked around her and found that the only other customer at the laundrette was a darling of an old man, who was already packing up his newly washed clothes. When the man was gone, temptation proved too much and the defendant tore off the page. The defendant would like to plead guilty, Your Honour.





Evidence: The dedendant was in possession of the above objects.


NANAIMO BARS

Bottom layer:
100g unsalted butter
50g sugar
5 tbps cocoa powder
1 egg, beaten
200g digestive biscuits, or similar
75g desiccated coconut
100g finely chopped pecans

Pop the biscuits in a plastic bag and whack them with a rolling pin until fine. Melt the butter with the sugar and cocoa in a saucepan.




Mix in the dry ingredients and then the beaten egg. At this point I panicked at the amount of biscuit mix I had and decided to make two trays of bars. Next time I'll make just the one.




Line a 23x23cm baking tray with greaseproof paper or foil. Press the biscuit mixture in evenly and chill in the fridge.


Second layer:
2 tbsp custard powder
3 tbsp milk
50g butter
250g icing sugar

Mix together custard and milk, add butter and sugar. Be patient and beat until very light – lighter than what I've got here. Spread on the biscuit base and chill.





Top layer:
75g dark chocolate
50g butter

Melt the butter in a saucepan. Let the chocolate melt in the warm butter and mix well.




Allow to cool but not set. Spread over the second layer and chill.




When set, cut into bars or squares. The top layer will cut neatly when room-temperature, not fridge-cold.




This is a traditional recipe named after a town in Canada. The second and third layer are so sweet you definitely need a thick biscuit base for balance. I decided to make mine half as thin, as I mentioned earlier, and it ended up a little bit too thin in comparison.

The terrorised magazine was the Style supplement of The Sunday Times, the latest issue, I think. Name of recipe quoted by the article was Mrs Cox’s killer Nanaimo bars, and I don’t think killer was used purely to mean ‘awesome’. Carb alert! These will give you a nice sugar high if that’s what you’re into.

Mrs Cox’s son Patrick the Shoe Man will be opening Cox Cookies & Cake at 13 Brewer St., Soho, London on September the 1st.